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VH1 Is Evil... By Hoch
 Posted
11/7/2009 8:30:00 AM
VH1 has built itself the last few years on the lowest common denominator of TV shows. And I love it. They do shows where they countdown "celebrity feuds" and they do shows where they countdown "celebrity breakups" and they do shows where they'll countdown just about anything. (I love a countdown. I used to listen to Casey Kasem every week.) VH1 has also given us some of the best reality TV as of late with "Celebrity Rehab" and "Celebrity Fit Club." These are the shows I like to watch, folks. I know- they're dumb... they're insulting... they're moronic. I'm ok with that. It's what I like. (I mean, would I really be turning on VH1 to learn something?)
So now, VH1 has unveiled two new shows that have immediately made it to "season pass" status on my TiVo: "Sex Rehab" and "Broke and Famous." "Sex Rehab" is pretty self-explanatory. Dr. Drew tries to help these people (celebrities?) with their addictions to sex. The show makes no sense at all, because several of the people in there are porn actresses. That would be like me going to "radio rehab." Of course I'm addicted to radio- it's my fucking job. Why on earth would you try and cure a porn star from sex addiction? That's how she makes her living.
The cast on "Sex Rehab" is comprised of the lowest of the lowest forms of celebrity. There's a professional surfer. He's a tool. The former drummer from the band Skid Row is on the show. There's something shocking- a rock star with a sex addiction. Good luck with that one, Dr. Drew. All the cast members blame sex for the troubles they're having in their lives. Tough for me to buy it. Regardless of whether I believe it or not, the show is still a rock solid hour of fun to watch. All the girls are attractive, so I imagine it's NOTHING like a real sex rehab. They all tried to sneak sex toys in to rehab, but everything got confiscated... on camera! There are rules: no touching each other... no touching yourself... no sex talk... It's great! VH1 has put together a bunch of attractive sex addicts of the opposite sex... have them living together... and they can't hook up! Brilliant TV!
The other train-wreck that VH1 has rolled out is "Broke and Famous." This show spends an hour each week chronicling a celebrity that has lost everything... including his ability to pay his bills. I don't know why I thought this would be fun to watch, because it wasn't. It was painful and sad. (Yet, I will continue to season pass it and watch it every week. I'm a confused individual.) This first episode was about Willie Aames- the former actor in "Eight Is Enough" and "Charles In Charge." He has lost everything: his wife and daughter left him... his house is in foreclosure... the electricity and gas have been turned off... he has minus 60 dollars in his bank account... and he owes almost $300,000 on his house.
Not only do they embarrass him on TV with all these details about his financial demise, but they also make him go through a bunch of humiliating steps to earn $25,000 at the end of the show. They bring in a financial advisor and life coach to help him... but this financial advisor is not a sweet Suze Ormon type... It's a tough, muscular guy who's more like a drill sergeant. He screams at Willie. He forces Willie to have a garage sale in front of all his neighbors where he sells EVERYTHING he owns. He forces Willie to make amends with his family. He forces Willie to talk about all the bad business decisions he's made. It's truly embarrassing, and you know that Willie Aames does not want to do this publicly, but he has no choice because he needs the $25,000.
Both these shows are bad TV... bad for America... bad for society... bad for humanity. I understand that, but I can't stop watching. It seems like perhaps I should do a little soul searching to find out what's wrong with me for continuing to watch this garbage, but I don't have time for soul searching, because "I Want To Work For Diddy" starts in 10 minutes. On VH1.
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Marc Hochman
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You are a troubled man, Hoch. The Famous and Broke show should have been titled "Talentless and Broke". It would be nice if VH1 and MTV would at least show some music videos. Wouldn't?
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Posted By
Hassenphefer
On
11/8/2009 12:01:53 PM
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Perhaps your VH1 show addiction would make for a promising VH1 show.
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Posted By
James
On
11/7/2009 12:28:16 PM
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