Archive for December, 2007
I’m warning you in advance that this is a bad blog. (Not that my other ones are any good, but you see what I’m saying.) We’re on vacation now… I’m writing this blog as we’re loading up the family truckster and getting ready to head to Universal Studios for the week. (We’ll make our way to Disney too, but my son really prefers Universal. As do I.) I don’t know if Dan or Stugotz are going away for our vacation, but my wife and I decided to spend a week in Orlando with our son… We’re Jewish, so we don’t feel that need to be home during Christmas.
We did go to our first Colombian Christmas party last night… That was a fun experience. All the kids were dressed in white to play out some scene from Jesus’ life. My son was wearing a black Marlins jersey. I tried bonuelos and Colombiana brand soda. Good stuff. Didn’t touch the ham though. I like learning about other people’s religions and cultures, but that’s something for another blog.
I feel as when we come to the end of the year, I should thank some people that normally don’t get mentioned and tell them how much they’re appreciated. The board ops like Jaron, Claude, Mike, Robot Dave, and Trevor. And big shout outs to Trevor, because he’s the one that takes the time to post our “full shows” on the web. He takes his own time to edit out the commercials and post the shows and he doesn’t get paid any extra for it. Trevor’s wife is about to have a baby, so the days of him posting the full shows may be coming to an end. A newborn has a way of eating into your free time.
Big thanks to all our interns from the past year… Kenny, Ozzie, Meron, Christina, Justin, Danny, Chris, and any others that I may be forgetting. Some interns last a while… Some don’t. But they are all appreciated. Some interns are so good that they become producer of the show… just like Mike Ryan. Mike Ryan- the most meteoric rise in the history of broadcasting!
And then there’s Cintia… Cin City. She helps out the show a lot, and no one knows it! Big props to Cin; I wish she was back in studio full time!
So I go to this Colombian Christmas party on Sunday, certain that they’d have the Dolphins game on TV somewhere. Nope. TVs are off and everyone is sitting in a circle singing Christmas carols in Spansih. I’m by the side checking my Blackberry for score updates. When you have the Dolphins plus 22, the game was a nail biter.
So, Merry Christmas to all… And Happy New Year… Have a safe and healthy holiday season. We’re not planning anything new for next year. We’re going to be coasting from this point on. I’m out of ideas for the show. It’s going to get worse and worse from this point on. And on that uplifting note, Suey to you too.
December 24th, 2007
I’m so torn up by the Dolphins victory. I had anticipated this moment all year… not necessarily anticipating it like, “I can’t wait for the Dolphins to win.” More like, I was trying to anticipate how I would feel. I’m a Bears fan, but I do actually root for the Dolphins too. My son is 3 years old, so he’s going to grow up a Dolphins fan, so I don’t want to hate the team he’s going to root for. But yesterday left me in a mix of emotions, and allow me to explain why.
Gambling is illegal, so I don’t condone it. Sports wagering (I’m told) can be a way to make any game a little more exciting. Well let’s just say, for entertainment purposes only, that I had a 5 team parlay going yesterday with all early games. And let’s just say that the first 4 of my games were in, and I had won them. So, let’s just say (for entertainment purposes only) that I’m 4-0 in a 5 team parlay, and the only game I have left open is the Ravens. I have the Ravens giving the Dolphins 3 1/2.
And let’s just say that the only way I’m going to miraculously cover that bet and win the 5 team parlay is if a rookie quarterback takes the Ravens 60 yards into the end zone at the end of regulation. The good news for me was that the Dolphins defense looked tired, and I had swaggering, cocky Brian Billick as the coach for my team. (A coach I will forever more refer to as The World’s Most Gigantic Pussy.)
So there I am, (I mean, there are the Ravens) at the 1 inch line with 10 seconds to go. All they have to do is stuff the ball into the end zone for a touchdown and they win the game and I win $1,200 (understanding that this is for entertainment purposes only.) Swaggering Brian Billick. Hot shot Brian Billick. Arrogant Brian Billick. This guy rewarded his team by letting them go for the TIE against the WINLESS Dolphins, rather than punching the ball in for the touchdown. Brian Billick is The World’s Most Gigantic Pussy.
His team had the Dolphins backpedaling. The Dolphins were beaten on that final drive. This is a man’s game… A real man’s sport. And he goes for a TIE? From the one inch line? We always talk on the air about how a coach really doesn’t have much to do with the outcome of the game. In this instance, Brian Billick absolutely cost his team a win. There is no doubt in my mind that Willis McGahee would have waltzed into the end zone from an inch away. It was like beating up a boxer for two minutes and then instead of going in for the kill, walking away and letting the boxer regroup for the next round. The Ravens, the entire team, should blame Brian Billick for their loss. I blame him for taking $1,200 )pretend) dollars out of my pocket.
So, you can see how I was a mess emotionally after the game. I really did feel good for Cam Cameron as he ran across the field smiling. I really did feel good for him when he embraced Cleo Lemon in a death grip. I really did feel good for all the Dolphins kickers as they walked off the field with a win. And I certainly would NOT have had a problem if the team had dumped Gatorade on Cam Cameron’s head. (I wouldn’t have had a problem if they dumped Gatorade on Brian Billick’s head either. He had more to do with The Dolphins win than Cameron did.)
So there I was… half smiling because I felt good for the Dolphins… Half weeping because I was so close to a big (pretend) payday… And 100% incredulous about what Brian Billick had just done to his team. I genuinely feel bad for that Ravens team. They got cheated in their New England game by the officials, and now they get cheated by their own coach. But that’s what you get when your coach, Brian Billick, is The World’s Most Gigantic Pussy.
December 17th, 2007
I’ve made this argument on the air, but people don’t think I’m serious. In hindsight, Dave Wannstedt should be remembered fondly as a head coach for The Dolphins. That’s right. old laughing stock Dave Wannstedt… the only coach in recent history that actually did some good things for this once proud franchise. I firmly believe that if Wayne brought Wanny back to coach, he would be welcomed back warmly by Dolfans.
Look at what has happened since… Complete disarray. Wannstedt, who admittedly had some judgment problems in the personnel area, actually had a pretty decent tenure as head coach for The Miami Dolphins. When I look back, I see him as the one coach who genuinely had the team’s best interest at heart. He may have made some bad decisions, but I don’t believe he was ever working under ulterior motives. Nick Saban had no interest in the Dolphins, the fans, or the history. His sole purpose was to build his own legacy. Cam Cameron just looks confused. I don’t think he knows what his purpose is. And the coaches that people are looking to for next year: Bill Cowher and Bill Parcells… I don’t think so. They would just be trying to show the world that they can be successful anywhere. Give me comfort food. Give me Wannstedt.
I look at it like an old girlfriend, that now that she’s been gone several years, and you’ve dated other people, you realize she was really the best one for you. We dated Dave Wannstedt, and we thought she wasn’t pretty enough for us with that mustache. So we dumped him and we dated Jim Bates- briefly. He was our rebound. Then, somehow, we actually got to date the girl everyone wanted- Nick Saban. And we fell in love. And after we asked him to move in with us, he became a jerk. He yelled at our friends and family. He made people cry. And in the end, he cheated on us. So, we started looking for someone nice and sweet to get the taste of Saban out of our mouth. And we found Cam Cameron.
Cam Cameron seemed nice and pretty- just what we were looking for. Sure, no one ever really dated him before, but his best friend Marty Schottenheimer had lots of dates, so how bad could Cam really be for us? And then we found out. He was cute. And sweet. And nice. But he was bad in bed, and we just haven’t clicked. It’s no one’s fault. We just don’t click. Cam is not the right girl for us, and we know that. And we’re trying to make it work because we don’t want anyone to get hurt, but we know the inevitable.
And that brings me back to Dave Wannstedt. The girl we may have let go a little too soon. The girl, who no matter how bad things got, always made us smile just a little bit. The girl who never had the right thing to say… but always had the right thing to say. No matter what happened on the field, you could always snuggle up with Wanny in bed at night. Everything felt a little better with Wanny at the helm. Kind of like President Clinton… No matter what he did, it always felt good knowing he was there for us.
So bring back Dave Wannstedt. We still love you. And we were wrong.
December 10th, 2007
Okay, this will be the third edition of “questions and answers.” This is an open forum where you post a question- any question- and I’ll respond to it honestly. I do have a limit of Zas questions and comments, though. This blog has just become a forum for bashing Zaslow, and quite honestly I find that boring. The blog was meant to be a fun forum for LeBatard Show listeners to exchange stupidity- but it’s taken a turn to become a forum to rip on Zaslow. I don’t care if you like Zas or not… but I can’t deal with posting after posting about how he doesn’t know anything. I got you. I hear you. You’ve made your points on Zas. Now, if there are any questions, go ahead and post them…
December 6th, 2007
