Time To Open A New Chapter In My Life… By Hoch
May 12th, 2008
I’ve always thought of adulthood as a pretty interesting place to stop by. But stay there? No thanks. That’s why I chose this profession. (And when I say I “chose” this profession, I mean Dan forced the previous owners of this radio station to hire me 4 years ago even though I didn’t know what I was doing. Dan had that kind of power.) There isn’t a greater escape anywhere in entertainment than the 4 hours of complete crap we throw at you every Monday through Friday. (And if you really enjoy the aforementioned crap, perhaps you’d like to pick up a little gift at horsemuffins.com.)
But it looks, as I enter midlife at 38 years old, like it is finally time to do some growing up. Not too much, I hope. But at least some. I’m going to Chicago for four days. I’m going to Chicago, Highland Park, and Deerfield. And I’m as excited about this sabbatical as I’ve ever been about anything.
I love and respect and value everything about the radio show. (Except for Stugotz.) I’m leaving almost everything I do behind… for four days… including this blog. I just want to concentrate on building a bridge to the second half of my life, which I have calculated starts on Monday, May 19, 2008. I will have a lot of soul searching and growing to do until then.
It’s hard to grow up in this playpen we call “The Dan LeBatard Show.” And I’ve become lopsided and bald pouring too much of my self-worth into things like wrestling interviews and sueys. I need to find out who I am. Everyone seems to think I’m a huge asshole, but I need to find that out on my own.
Besides, I’m doing you (the four readers of this blog) a disservice everytime I sit down to blog about a fast food topic that doesn’t even interest me at all. (Although, I am still looking for a Shamrock Shake. Anyone seen one lately?) I don’t deserve to be paid for a diluted version of this blog, that I value so much. (Which is lucky, because I don’t get paid to write this.) My blog has lacked passion for a while now because I’m stretched too thin with other things like watching American Idol, playing Nintendo Wii, and searching for free porn sites on the web.
You, the radio show, and the blogosphere deserve better from me. I hope that I come back in 4 days refreshed and reinvigorated. I’ve always thought that I could waste at least 6-7 minutes a week writing this blog, so I’m pretty sure I will be able to return with the zeal to devote even 9-10 minutes a week.
I’m not disappearing totally… Over the next 4 days you might see me pop up in a home movie or a postcard, because those things still mean something to me. I’m trying not to make this all syrupy, so I’ll try to wrap it up. The other day I was at Chuck E. Cheese with my son. He was feeding my dollars into the token machine. He ran off to play some games, and when he returned, he stopped and smiled at me, and said, “Can I have some more dollars?”
This is what I’m going to be doing for the next 4 days. I’m going to make sure I don’t miss out on any more moments like that. And I’m going to figure out a way to create more of them. (Next time, I’ll bring more dollars.) I guess this was every bit as corny as I feared. Sorry. Can I borrow a dollar?
Anyway, I have been working moderately hard for too long now, because what I do doesn’t feel like work. (And why should it? It’s easy.) But it is a time for me to make the journey from happy to happier. And time for me to figure out a way to use this forum, by beloved blog, as a way to start helping others instead of just entertaining 1 or 2 people out of the total of 4 that read it. So this is good-bye for now.
I think and hope that I’m going to be different, and better, and fatter, when I return in 4 days.
Entry Filed under: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
58 Comments Add your own
1. Ryan Morgan | May 12th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
I know I’ve been a silent reader of your blog over the last couple weeks, but I do think you should know Hoch that 1) I constantly refresh the website on Mondays to see if you have a new blog up and 2) nothing makes my day like having you or Lebby respond to an email (which you haven’t done for a while so I stopped writing).
I wish you well on your soul searching mission - may you be the best mediocre mid-market producer for a semi-popular show that you can be!
2. jesse | May 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Hoch that was hilarious. still not going to buy anything at horsemuffins but i will tune in every M-F, although next week the internet show will just not be the same.
I hope you find yourself and more chuckie cheese dollars.
3. Roy | May 12th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
i’m crying two tears in a bucket
4. cortes | May 12th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
funniest blog you’ve every done.. oh man.. hilarious
5. Hassenpfeffer | May 12th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
WOW, seems kinda serouis. I will respond by saying you better get some White Castles, Italian Beef and Jeno’s Pizza. Don’t understand the Sox are on the westcoast, sorry even if it is a life mission it’s still poor planning. Hell when I go to STL not only do I make sure the Cardinals are in town I make sure that the Marlins are visting. NOW that’s good planning.
Anyway good luck in your quest and I will see you at Jai Alai. BTW will you be giving out dollars at Jai Alia, Dad?
6. Hoch | May 12th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
It’s not really a serious blog… It’s a spoof of Dan’s Sunday column in the Miami Herald… Too many people think this was serious… Check out Dan’s column at herald.com.
7. steven | May 12th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
you mean Hochamania is gonna be dead for 4days? Well suey to you!! Until you return.
8. sandeel | May 12th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
You’re a genius, Hoch.
9. Ryan Morgan | May 12th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Ahhhh…a satire equal to Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels or Voltaire’s Candide . I hardly knew ye had the talent to pull off a satire so sweet.
Seriously though, you’re not leaving are you? I don’t think I could stand not hearing Butterbean mixed with the Beatles Hello Goodbye
10. grha9 | May 12th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
the paraody on LeBastard was hilarious.
with dan’s 1 year sabatical from the Herald does this incude the show as well? if so, does this mean angry stu gotz is on his own?
11. camilo | May 12th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
HA! i listen regularlyand am a big fan and just ever really respond or write stuff to you guys. I figured you et enough of that……but wow…im actually lauging out loud…kind of sad.but funny.
12. cc | May 12th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Hoch you are the man and hope to hear you on your own show. The one that should go is Zas
13. odessa steps magazine | May 13th, 2008 at 2:54 am
Hey Hoch,
that was good enough to warrant another purchase from horsemuffins.com.
However, I will wait until you return to do it though, since I need an internet show to really spur me on.
14. Cyn City | May 13th, 2008 at 3:57 am
To all the questions regarding if Dan going on sabbatical also means being away from the show and the answer is NO!
15. Eric L. | May 13th, 2008 at 4:10 am
Hoch free porn is @ redtube.com it’s like you tube but it’s not
16. Hassenpfeffer | May 13th, 2008 at 5:14 am
Okay I got into my car this evening to go to BK around 11 pm. The radio was on 790 because earlier I was listing to the Marlins games. SO I stumble on Zas. Well this prick is so unprepared for his show. Zas did not know that the Marlins still had the best record in baseball even after the loss tonight. He had to ask the producer. So Zas was all happy Marlin fan. So I called in to point out that he made the statement about trading Dontrell and Caberia and to ask if he still has the same standpoint on the Marlins now that they have the best record in baseball that he did when he made the statement.
Well that fucken prick not only would not admitt to making the statement, he hung up on me when I pointed out that the station was using that as advertiment for his show. I called back about 15 minutes later to explain that I was hung up on and that I wanted to point out to Zas of his prevouis statment and my question was how does he feel about the Marlins ownership and his last statement. The screener heard me out but then said I have other callers ans then hung up on me.
I don’t listen to Zas but now I know why you guys Hate him. I will be at jai alai and I have a plan to torment this fucken talentless prick.
Sorry Hoch, enjoy your trip. Oh I forgot have a Chicago Dog along with the other food available in the Windy City. I love Chicago.
17. King of Loserville | May 13th, 2008 at 11:23 am
You deserve an Oscar…
Hass…welcome on board my friend…Asslow has been doing then same stuff since he was with Boog…boog would ask for Asslow’s answer, Boog would pause, then rebutt he dumb answer, and Zas would say “oh yeah”
He’s a train wreck…but then again, Dan did the same with the Giants during the playoffs…he killed then every week, and then when the SuperBowl came around he says, well I picked them to win the the Herald…NO SHIT…after you said they wouldn’t beat the Bucs, Cowboys, and Packers…and don’t think we don’t know the only reason you picked the Giants is cause they were playing the Pats, if they were playing the Colts you would have picked the Colts.
On to Asslow…there is a listen to learn here people…Crack is Wack and so is Asslow…want to see a ratings cliff…shut the radios off after Lebby & the Marlins…
Barry Jackson will write about it…
CC…below is the breakdown…sorry for the delay…been getting swamped at work:
The Ticket now tops WQAM
Posted on Fri, May. 09, 2008Digg del.icio.us AIM reprint print email
By BARRY JACKSON
bjackson@MiamiHerald.com
The radio ratings are out, and chalk up a narrow victory for 790 The Ticket, which now boasts a 3-1-1 record against WQAM (560) in the last five Arbitron ratings books in the key demographic group of men ages 25 to 54.
In the period covering Jan. 10 through April 2, The Ticket finished 15th in the market, with a 2.8 share, in that demo group. WQAM closed 16th, with a 2.6.
Some of the head-to-head battles, using numbers from that coveted demo group:
• The most notable development was longtime WQAM ratings king Neil Rogers losing to 790 (mostly Jorge Sedano, but also an hour of former 790 host Jon Sciambi). During Rogers’ hours (10 a.m.-2 p.m.,), he was 13th in the market, with a 3.3 share, while the Ticket was 10th with a 3.7. During Sedano’s hours specifically (10 a.m.-1 p.m.), The Ticket was eighth with a 3.9; WQAM 12th with a 3.3. (Since that ratings book, Sedano moved to the noon-3 p.m. slot.)
• WQAM won in the early and mid-mornings, with Orlando Alzugaray (who starts at 5 a.m.) beating 790’s Sid Rosenberg 3.8 to 3.2 during the 90 minutes when they directly compete. Between 7 and 10 a.m., WQAM’s Joe Rose was sixth in the market with a 3.8 share, beating Rosenberg, who was 17th with a 2.5 at that time.
• Besides beating Rogers, The Ticket — which has a marketing partnership with the Miami Herald — also won head-to-head battles with WQAM throughout the afternoon and evening. In direct competition between WQAM’s Jim Mandich and The Ticket’s Dan Le Batard and Jon Weiner, The Ticket had a 3.1 share, ranking 11th in the market, compared with WQAM’s 2.8 (15th).
In his first book since shifting from the morning show, Jason Jackson’s 2-4 p.m. show on WQAM ranked 23rd with a 1.7 share, compared with the Ticket’s 2.4 (17th), which included one hour of Sciambi and one of Le Batard.
• WQAM hosts have complained about the Dolphins not providing guests for its weeknight Dolphins show, and the ratings remain disappointing. During ‘’Dolphins All Access'’ — or as Mandich would say, ‘’Dolphins No Access'’ — WQAM had a 1.6 share, ranking 22nd, from 7 to 9 p.m., compared with the Ticket’s 2.6, ranking 16th, which included Panthers games and Kevin Rogers, who is now on from 10 a.m. to noon.
• The Ticket dominated its rival from 9 p.m. to midnight, with a 3.8 share to WQAM’s 0.4. That included Rogers, the Dos Amigos show and Panthers games on The Ticket, and mostly Damon Amendolara on WQAM.
18. King of Loserville | May 13th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Hoch…it’s been great blogging with you…enjoy your 4 days off…by the way when you get there can you go by Wrigley Field…go the the hihest point, take a panaramic picture and post it next week…
Maybe people in Miami need visual aids as to what you do when your city has a baseball team
by the way…am I a good fan if I don’t go to any Marlins games but my girlfriend wears a Marlins bikini in the pool while we watch the games?
19. cc | May 13th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Thanks King. If Rogers was doing well at 7 and then the Dos Amigos, why put Asslow on that slot? I can’t wait to see Zas’s ratings. The guy is trying to sound like Sid . Zas you know crap about sports.
King, is Zas riding in the Preakness ?
20. King of Loserville | May 13th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
nah…they passed…he couldn’t figure out how to saddle the horse…
he also failed the exam he took…
they did one of those exams where they show you picture and you need to answer yes or no to what the moderater says…
Well…the moderator shows asslow a pic of Seabiscuit and Asslow said “No, See Horse”
21. cc | May 13th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Hassenpfeffer , great points. That is how I feel when he attempts to talk basketball. He picks the Heat at the start of the year and then he picks the Mavs after the Kidd trade. Anybdy that knows ball would tell you the Nets got the better of the trade. Then Pierce and Allen were out for the Celtics and he tells you bet the Heat, they lose by 30. A few years ago he says to draft Roko who is not in the league. He continues to be wrong about anything related to the NBA . By the way Zaslow I did play ball unlike you
22. Hassenpfeffer | May 14th, 2008 at 5:03 am
Yeah CC, after speaking with Zas I could tell he has a major Napoleon complex. What a little fuck.
As far as Jai Alai does does anyone here have betting knowlegde? I know enough to make a bet but am looking for more. Thanks
23. Rog | May 14th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Hoch you are just a money grubbing star that is rubbing it in the working man’s face that you can take off four days to go to Chicago.
24. hoops | May 14th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
It drives me nuts to listen to Zas try to talk hoops. The guy could not get one Division 3 scholarship.
Hass, I wish I knew how to bet on Jai- Alai, now hoops yes. I say inveest a little in the stock market . Take Care
25. King of Loserville | May 15th, 2008 at 12:11 am
Does anyone else feel like sticking a hot pick in their eye when they listen to Asslow? I mean come on…could 790 not find anyone else to talk baseball?
hoops…he can’t talk baseball, basketball, football…or any other balls…
Asslow is not a 5 Tool Radio personality…he’s just one BIG TOOL!!!
26. cc | May 15th, 2008 at 2:59 am
Mr King, your blogs are excellent. How about a top 10 list why the Zas should not be n the air. Did you read the guys biography, he wants to sit with his people. Who is he a celebrity or a wannabe athlete
27. Hassenpfeffer | May 15th, 2008 at 4:41 am
CC I want to help.
1. He knows nothing
2. He is Rude
3. Unprepared for his show
4. He talks down to his listeners even though he knows nothing about sports.
5. His show is all about him and he doesn’t care what his listeners want to talk about.
6. He tries to talk about subjects he knows shit about to make himself seem worldly.
7. Makes comments that are incorrect and when he is challengend on them he just says “oh yeah”.
8. His being a fan of a team blinds reality.
9.Has no respect for any opinion but his own.
10. He is always right even when he isn’t.
This is someone that has listend to him for a total of less than 3 hours including the Boog Show.
King if I missed anything PLEASE fill in.
I’m 43, 6′ and weigh about 185 lbs. I challenge this fuck to a fight. I would “Destroy Him”. You Fuck, Zas NO ONE talks to me the way you did. NO ONE!!!!!
28. cc | May 15th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
My money is on Hassenpfeffer for a first round knock out.
29. Hassenpfeffer | May 15th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Nah, I wouldn’t do that. Make it go a few rounds and make him suffer.
30. 560 Joe Rose | May 15th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Hoch you say “the four readers of this blog” arent you giving youself a little to much credit there? I think you are you wish you had 4 readers. Look at the ratings and you will see The Joe Rose Show does better then this blog and the show you produce.
31. hoops | May 15th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Knicks fan you go to the Garden when up in NYC ? I still try to listen to WFAN as they understand hoops more then some hosts especially non ball player Zsalow. They would never put this guy on
32. cc | May 16th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Sorry , the Marlns were rained out it gave Zas more air time . I have never heard a bigger fruit
33. Hassenpfeffer | May 17th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Hey we are back. They (790) really needs to do something about who hosts there website.
Yeah, CC I tuned in to Zas on the rain out. I was there for about 2 mins and the stupidity that just rained out made me realize it was Zas.I usally listen to the Defo Station if Zas is on at 7.
Cool.. got to flip between the Marlins and the Cardinals last night. Too bad they both lost but at least I got to see both games. OH and then BSG was on at 10. BSG Rocks.
34. Hassenpfeffer | May 17th, 2008 at 7:53 am
Oh even with 4 loses in a row the Marlins are tied for 1st in the NL East. Yeah Zas they really miss Dontrell and Cabrera. Oh yeah Zas the team they were traded to is DEAD LAST in the ALC.
Zas sing the Scarecrow song “If I only had a brain”.
I say for a week the Hochamanicas call in to the show flooding the phonelines. Man it would get to a point he wouldn’t be able to take calls and have to drowned all by his self.
Well if it works for one week we should do it till the little fuck is off the air.
See ya all on Wens.
35. King of Loserville | May 17th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Hey Hochammanics…what news around here? Marlins till in First…Asslow still a tool…
CC…sorry for taking so long to get back I have been in and out of town on business and I just got back in…well until the next call I get…
this website has been terrible as of late…is 790 not paying the bill or something? I mean I know it’s not crashing from everyone coming on the internet to listen to Asslow…unless he is paying someone alot of money to sign on during his show….hmmm
Hass good job ob the top 10…but there is one others we can enter on there…
Most likely to have taken the money in the urine out of the WAXY bathroom…
Either him or Joe Rose…
Hey 560 Joe Rose ur entering a bad part of town…and you’re by yourself…don’t come back around here talking smack about Hoch and the Hochamaniacs unless ur bringing an army with you…
And I don’t mean the fossils over at 560…
As for the Marlins…they have been doing ok so far…loosing all the games to the Reds was a little weak, they continue to turn it on in the late innings so I’m not hating…a “W” would be great, but they aren’t loosing there drive…
AS far as Interleague Play…I think it’s bs that we aren’t playing the AL East…we should be playing them every year…Fscrew the West, Central, we gotta put asses in the seats…and when the Yankees and Red Sox were here the averaged 35k a game…
Selig your older then dirt, most of these owners need to be retired, I’m not saying to re-invent the wheel…just bring the right teams to the right markets…
36. hoops | May 17th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
If you think Zas does not know baseball he is worse talking about the NBA. He can’t break down a game could not get one Division 3 scholarship, so because he is a fan and has season tickets give him a show.
37. Hassenpfeffer | May 17th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Inter-League play was a nice novelity but I really think it’s time has come. Or at least be revamped. Ass King suggested they the Fish should only be seeing NYY and BoSox. Met’s -Yanks, Mets’ BoSox. StL - KC, StL-ChiSox, Cubs -Sox. etc.
38. cc | May 18th, 2008 at 12:04 am
King, any ideas on getting the little man Zas off the air
39. King of Loserville | May 18th, 2008 at 1:39 am
Hass…who’s Ass King?
40. Hassenpfeffer | May 18th, 2008 at 7:02 am
Sorry King, It should have read
“As King suggested”.
Don’t you guys know I am the Typo master? Duh. I never proof my posts.
But there is a few girls at work that I would like to be the King of their Ass. LOL
41. EASY E | May 18th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I listen to 790 and I would like to hear more of Steve Goldstein. I do agree with everyone that Mr. Zaslow is not worth listening to at any hour.
42. Hassenpfeffer | May 18th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Goldie is great with hockey. Best in the market.
43. T | May 18th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Will Ed Kaplan be at Jai Alai night?
44. roy jones jr | May 18th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
i wont read the comments this time because this is aimed directly at Hoch & Lebatard. Do your soul searching on your own time. Your are making the radio show become stale & unlistenable when you dont have HUMOR. thats right. throwing the sports info in is fine, but its the HUMOR thats keep me coming back. and other listeners agree with me.
45. cc | May 19th, 2008 at 3:37 am
Marlins off tomorrow, that means Zas. Guess my radio will be off as I can’t listen to a non athlete
46. Hassenpfeffer | May 19th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
CC, it’s not the fact he is not an athlete. It’s the fact that he does not NO SHIT about sports.
There are lots of good sports talk show hosts that were not athletes but know what the fuck they are talking about.
47. Hassenpfeffer | May 19th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Oh the station should fire whoever hosts this website. They have been fucking up for 2 months.
48. Downtown Tim Brown | May 19th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Did you hit the Weiner Circle while you were in Chicago? Best Dogs and service anywhere.
49. cc | May 20th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Hassenpfeffer you are correct about certain hosts that have not played sports yet run good shows. My point is this little nothing rips players and wants the audience to believe he played. I recall him saying that if he played in a summer league basketball game he could score, I laughed so hard. I guess at 5′6 he has a Napolean Complex
50. King of Loserville | May 20th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
The only time Asslow will be touching the basketball is when they are done with practice and they hit the showers and tell him to pick up the court…
he’s gonna have to wear a golden thong after his first book comes out…
51. FAKE CC | May 20th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
I find his biography very funny but do not see any experience for him getting a show
52. jay rock | May 20th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
HOCK,
WHAT HAPPEN TO THE SHOW ONLINNE. YOU HAVEN’T PUT UP THE OLD SHOW SINCE LAST WEDNESDAY. I AM WAITING FOR THE THURSDAY’S SHOW THROUGH TUESDAY. PLEASE, I AM DYING TO CATCH UP.
HELP.
53. Hassenpfeffer | May 21st, 2008 at 6:40 am
I’m guessing a new blog on Thr. I also expect a new blon the. Hoch want’s to meet the Hochamanics….why because we RULE!!!
54. Hassenpfeffer | May 21st, 2008 at 6:48 am
I tried to fix te typo’s but the website sucks. See y’all tonight.
55. cc | May 21st, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Please No More Zaslow. Wow is he awful
56. Hassenpfeffer | May 21st, 2008 at 2:52 pm
CC you’re a star. You have your own fake.
57. cc | May 21st, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Hassenpfeffer, I guess people love the Hochamania crowd
58. Hassenpfeffer | May 22nd, 2008 at 8:01 am
So who went to Jai Alai? I was in the center, 2nd row. Same row and Sec. as Dan. Hoch was in the row in front of me and Stugotz was behind me with that turd Sid. Where were y’all?
Hoch, great event. Again it was great to meet ya in person.
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