Odds and Ends… By Hoch

Very excited about our next Dania Jai-Alai night which is this coming Wednesday night. Call me crazy, but I actually look forward to hanging out with the people that listen to our show. I feel like it’s a big, insane, warped, troubled, family… and it just feels so right. Dania Jai-Alai is the perfect place for us LeBatard Listeners to hang out. We’re gonna give away a ton of prizes Wednesday night… A Nintendo Wii, a $100 gift certificate to Texas De Brazil, concert tickets, Marlins tickets, and hopefully more. If you haven’t already planned on joining us Wednesday night, please make plans to do so. Get to Dania Jai-Alai around 7pm and hang out the entire night with us. Also…. just like last time… the hot dogs and beers are only a dollar each, so you’re gonna eat and drink on the cheap.

As is usually the case, a lot of staff members from the radio station will show up… people you hear mentioned on the air occasionally, but never really get to meet. Cyn City will be there; and Jaron the Board-Op, Robot Dave the Board-Op, Kenny The Intern, Ozzie the producer, Steve White, and numerous others. The only real question is whether or not Brandon Guzio will show up. Brandon Guzio, who hosts the midday show with Kevin Rogers, is the only air talent that has NEVER shown up to a Dan LeBatard Show event. Not to the first jai-alai night… Not to the Boomers Kimbo party… not to NOTHING. Will Brandon show up? And if he does, will he be negative?

Anyway, I digress. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone Wednesday night at Dania Jai-Alai…

Here are a couple other bits and pieces that need to be covered. Dan, Stugotz, and I are off this coming Thursday and Friday. Stugotz is going to a wedding in New York and Dan and I are going with some college friends on a gambling trip. Really looking forward to the gambling trip, as our college “group” hasn’t gone on one in a couple of years. I don’t know who’s going to do the show Thursday and Friday, but it’s not going to be us.

In vacation news, we’re also going to be taking vacation for two weeks starting July 21st…. So July 18th will be our last show on the air until August 4th. Sorry to do that to you, but we wanted to get an extended break before football season starts to kick in. Dan actually wanted to take 4 weeks in a row off starting July 18th, but I didn’t think that would be a great idea.

In other news… You may have seen it mentioned in The MIami Herald… Dan, Stugotz, and I have signed brand new 3 year contracts with Lincoln Financial Media, the group that owns our radio station. So we’re signed through 2011, so we’re not going anywhere for a while. I’m really looking forward to continuing to work for this company, as they have been nothing but great to us. Lincoln Financial Media’s corporate offices made the decision to sign us for three years… if it was up to our own local program director Steve White, he would have gotten rid of us by now. He’s essentially being forced to keep us, even though he hates our show. Well, what are you gonna do? Not everyone can love us.

So… I’ll see you at Dania Jai-Alai Wednesday night… and here’s a little sneak preview… We’re going to have a poker tournament at Dania Jai-Alai on Wednesday, July 16th… It’s gonna be like a $30 buy in, and the winner will get a few thousand dollars. So mark your calendar, and more details will be on the way soon about the poker tournament.

See you Wednesday

70 comments June 16th, 2008

Blueberry Muffin Tops… By Hoch

Sometimes it’s nice to share the wealth. Sometimes you find something and you just need to tell the entire world. Sometimes you discover something and you need to tell the 6 people that read your blog. That’s what I’m doing… I’m going to share some information with you now that may change your life for the better, as it has mine. That would be a nice direction for this blog to take… We all share important information with each other- information that makes all our lives easier.

Here’s the information I need to share with you: I have found a delicious new breakfast cereal called “Blueberry Muffin Tops” and it’s made by Malt-O-Meal. Most of you are probably too young to remember Malt-O-Meal, but us 38 year olds know the brand. But you’re not going to find this cereal at your local Publix or Winn Dixie, my friends. You’re going to have to go somewhere you may never have gone before to buy food… The Dollar Store!

Here’s how it happened… My wife and I took our son to Chuck E. Cheese in Boca the other day, and as we were leaving we noticed that a new dollar store had just opened next to Chuck E. Cheese. Neither of us could ever recall having been in a dollar store before, so we decided to go in and check it out. (Times are tough- four dollar gas and all.) I thought the dollar store was a wonderful experience… This may seem obvious, but it really is shocking when you’re walking around and EVERYTHING is a dollar. EVERYTHING.

I’m starting to digress. This blog was supposed to be about cereal. Well, we’re walking around this dollar store and I’m fascinated by it, but I’m thinking there’s no way in the world I would actually buy food from a dollar store. (Maybe candy.) And then I saw it… It was calling to me… A box of cereal called “Blueberry Muffin Tops.” Now, you should probably know that I’m already a cereal guy. I love cereal. I’ll often eat cereal for lunch or dinner… I ALWAYS check out the cereal aisle at Publix looking for new things. I’ve even ordered “Quisp” online before because you can’t get it in stores. So even though it was a dollar store, the cereal aisle piqued my interest.

Something about this “Blueberry Muffin Tops” cereal was calling to me. (I don’t even like blueberry muffins.) I figured, for a dollar, why not give it a shot… So I did. I bought a box. And a couple days later I opened it and sat down to eat a bowl. OH SWEET NECTAR! It was the greatest cereal I had ever tasted. I’m not joking… I’m not trying to be funny… I’m not getting paid for this. I’m telling you that a one dollar box of “Blueberry Muffin Tops” cereal made by Malt-O-Meal, bought at a dollar store, is my new, favorite cereal of all time. I recently returned to that dollar store and bought FIVE boxes of “Blueberry Muffin Tops” cereal. That was a five dollar investment in my future happiness.

So, there you have it. I’ve shared the wealth. Search it out… Find it… Drive to Boca if you must. But do yourself a favor, and try “Blueberry Muffin Tops” cereal by Malt-O-Meal. You can thank me in person at Dania Jai-Alai on June 18th.

52 comments June 11th, 2008

We’re Going To Jai-Alai Again… By Hoch

We’re heading over to Dania Jai-Alai again… this time on Wednesday, June 18th… We’re going to have a lot going on that night… so pay attention! First of all, we’re going to have 100 commemorative “Play With My Pelotas” t-shirts, but this time to get the shirts you’re going to have to e-mail me at cantstanddan@790theticket.com and get on the t-shirt list. I want to avoid what happened last time, when people who just happened to be at Dania Jai-Alai saw us giving away shirts and just came up and grabbed them. I want the shirts to go to actual listeners, so e-mail me at cantstanddan@790theticket.com and if you’re one of the first 100 listeners to confirm you’re coming, you’ll receive an e-mail back from me telling you you’re on the t-shirt list and telling you how to pick it up that night.

In addition to the shirts, we’re going to give away a lot of great prizes that night, including a Nintendo Wii. All you’re going to have to do is come out that night and put your name in the register to win box and after every game we’ll pull out a name and give away a great prize. Not only do we have a brand new Nintendo Wii to give away, but also a $100 gift certificate to Texas De Brazil, a Marlins 4 pack of VIP tickets that will get you VIP treatment at the game, and more! We had a great time the last time we were at Dania Jai-Alai and this time we’re going to be giving away a lot more stuff, so make sure you join us. (It’s Wednesday night, June 18th starting at 7pm and going until about 11:00pm…) Also, don’t forget Dania Jai-Alai does dollar hot dogs and dollar beers on Wednesday nights, so it’s gonna be a cheap night!

Dan and I and some others from the radio station went to jai-alai last night just to have fun… I couldn’t believe how many young, hotties were crawling around Dania Jai-Alai last night. I’m not even joking… The place was crawling with young people, and lots of college girls. I always thought that I still fit in with young people… I thought that I could still pass for a college kid, but according to Kenny “The Intern” who was with us last night, I’m just a creepy 38 year old. That was a buzz kill. Kenny got killed playing poker, so I was happy about that.

The most exciting thing to happen last night at Dania Jai-Alai was that Roy Bellamy, one of our underpaid employees, won a $380 trifecta! Roy’s gonna get to eat! Always exciting to see Roy do well!

So, that’s the scoop… Join us at Dania Jai-Alai on Wednesday, June 18th and you might win a Nintendo Wii… And if you want one of the commemorative “Play With My Pelotas” t-shirts, be one of the first 100 people to e-mail me at cantstanddan@790theticket.com.

31 comments June 5th, 2008

Kimbo: The Aftermath… By Hoch

First off, I’ll say that our Kimbo Slice “Watch Party” at Boomers in Dania Beach was a HUGE success… I’m guessing 400-500 listeners packed that place with us and it was a great time. I always love meeting the listeners… Love when people come up to me and introduce themselves as “Fake Inner Circle” or “Limited Fake Kung Fu.” Always makes me laugh. Boomers was electric during that Kimbo fight… many thanks to everyone that showed up!

My initial reaction to the fight was that it was a little “fishy.” I thought the fight could have been stopped in the second round when Kimbo was on the ground taking an unholy beating from James Thompson. I’m not enough of an MMA fan to know whether or not they usually stop a fight at that point, but Kimbo was taking head shot after head shot and it was uncomfortable to watch. I felt as if I was witnessing a father of 6 get brain damage, and people were cheering for it. I also thought the fight was stopped a little too soon in Kimbo’s favor. I mean if you’re going to let Kimbo take that savage a beating, then you should let James Thompson take a beating too before stopping it like that. (I’ve since watched the fight again on YouTube, and after watching it a second time I’m ready to give Kimbo a little more credit than I did after the first viewing.)

After watching it again, Kimbo did actually show some ground skills. The truth of the matter is that everyone questioned whether Kimbo could fight at all from the ground, and I would now say he did a decent job. (Not great, but decent.) He was able to escape from some bad situations solely with brute force. I don’t think he’d be able to get away with that against a better MMA fighter, but he was able to do it against this opponent. After watching the fight, I think Kimbo has lost some of the “aura.” He certainly looked vulnerable, even though he walked away the winner. I still give him props… and MAD props to James Thompson. All in all, I would say it was an extremely entertaining MMA fight.

I thought CBS did a pretty good job with the broadcast. I’m sure all the MMA purists thought it was all too “over the top,” bordering on professional wrestling. But I enjoyed it. I like the big entrances and fireworks and all the “cheese” that came along with it. It made it more entertaining for me. Our listeners that were there seemed to love it too… There were a couple of James Thompson fans in our crowd… They made me laugh as they were taunting Dan throughout the fight when it looked like Kimbo might lose. All in all though, we had a great crowd at Boomers. I beat all comers in “pop-a-shot.” Our program director Steve White, who played Division I college basketball lost to me 53-17. I don’t have great basketball skills, but when it comes to pop-a-shot, I can’t be beat.

One of the real treats of the night was trying to watch Andy King, the producer of Sid’s show, try and climb the little rock climbing wall. Andy couldn’t make it to the top, even though plenty of 7 and 8 year olds were doing it all around him. I would say he gave a valiant effort, but he really didn’t. It was pathetic, and Sid should be embarrassed that Andy is his producer. (Andy’s girlfriend looked hot as usual.)

So, now it’s on to the next event… It’s not completely firmed up yet, but it looks like we’re going to do another Dania Jai-Alai night… This time on Wednesday, June 18th… And not only will there be dollar hot dogs and dollar beers this time… but we’re also going to give away a Nintendo Wii that night… Stay tuned for details… And congratulations Kimbo.

65 comments June 2nd, 2008

Kimbo Watch Party… By Hoch

Our Kimbo Fight Watch Party is Saturday, May 31st at Boomers in Dania Beach, and I think in my previous blog I may have explained it poorly and made it sound like there’s a $20 cover charge… There is NO COVER CHARGE. Everyone is welcome, and we want as many people to show up as possible. What I meant to write in my previous blog was that Boomers is doing a special that night just for our listeners… For $20 you can get a card that essentially lets you do everything at Boomers that night except the roller coaster. But you don’t have to buy that card- it’s your option. You’re more than welcome just to come and hang out and watch the Kimbo fight with us.

So make plans to join everyone from The Dan LeBatard Show at Boomers in Dania Beach on Saturday, May 31st starting around 8pm… The fight card starts at 9pm and is supposed to end around 11pm. There’ll be plenty of beer, food, rides, and fun… So Suey to you and see you there.

100 comments May 23rd, 2008

Jai Alai Is Back… By Hoch

Is it too early to emphatically state that the great sport of jai-alai is back? Wednesday night we asked our listeners to show up to Dania Jai-Alai and see if we can make the sport popular again for at least one night… It was, to quote Jim Rome, phenomenal. Over 500 listeners showed up and brought life back into the jai-alai fronton that hadn’t seen life in probably 15 years.

What a tremendous event! I loved hanging out and meeting the listeners… I even got to meet Hassenpfeffer, one of the original “Hochamaniacs” and a frequent poster on this blog… What a highlight! In the coming days we’ll post tons of pictures from the event on the website so you can see it. I also videotaped everything, so I’ll edit something together and post the video too.

The jai-alai action was great… Legendary player Joey was there, and it was honestly a thrill to meet him. Dan, Stugotz, myself, Sedano, and Sid each got a chance to lace up the cesta and throw the pelota… That was great too, although my hand still smells from wearing that sweaty cesta. So many people from the radio station showed up to support the event… The great Mike Ryan, our producer, Sid Rosenberg, Sedano, Andy King, Jaron (our board-op), Cyn City, Vickie, Steve White, Amanda… I would say that the jai-alai bathrooms are already so disgusting, that our program director Steve White couldn’t even foul them up. (I digress.)

Then there were the dollar beers and dollar hot dogs, which I will now officially begin to call dollar “hoch” dogs. The lines were too long- Dania Jai-Alai had planned for an extra hundred people to show up, not 500 more, so hopefully they’ll have that corrected for next time. All I can say is… Resounding success! And now it’s time to move on to our next event…

Saturday, May 31 at Boomers in Dania… It’s a Kimbo Slice “Watch Party.” Kimbo fights live on CBS that Saturday night, so we’re going to gather everyone at Boomers and watch the fight together. I know you probably think Boomers is a place for 12 year old kids, but they just put in a sports bar for adults, with alcohol, big screen TVs, pool tables, and more, so it should be a fun night.

Here’s the thing for the Boomers party… We need to limit it to around 200 people, so you’ll need to be on our guest list. There’s also a $20 entrance fee, but that gets you unlimited rides, bowling, go karts, etc. If you want to get on the guest list, e-mail me how many people to cantstanddan@790theticket.com.

24 comments May 22nd, 2008

Time To Open A New Chapter In My Life… By Hoch

I’ve always thought of adulthood as a pretty interesting place to stop by. But stay there? No thanks. That’s why I chose this profession. (And when I say I “chose” this profession, I mean Dan forced the previous owners of this radio station to hire me 4 years ago even though I didn’t know what I was doing. Dan had that kind of power.) There isn’t a greater escape anywhere in entertainment than the 4 hours of complete crap we throw at you every Monday through Friday. (And if you really enjoy the aforementioned crap, perhaps you’d like to pick up a little gift at horsemuffins.com.)

But it looks, as I enter midlife at 38 years old, like it is finally time to do some growing up. Not too much, I hope. But at least some. I’m going to Chicago for four days. I’m going to Chicago, Highland Park, and Deerfield. And I’m as excited about this sabbatical as I’ve ever been about anything.

I love and respect and value everything about the radio show. (Except for Stugotz.) I’m leaving almost everything I do behind… for four days… including this blog. I just want to concentrate on building a bridge to the second half of my life, which I have calculated starts on Monday, May 19, 2008. I will have a lot of soul searching and growing to do until then.

It’s hard to grow up in this playpen we call “The Dan LeBatard Show.” And I’ve become lopsided and bald pouring too much of my self-worth into things like wrestling interviews and sueys. I need to find out who I am. Everyone seems to think I’m a huge asshole, but I need to find that out on my own.

Besides, I’m doing you (the four readers of this blog) a disservice everytime I sit down to blog about a fast food topic that doesn’t even interest me at all. (Although, I am still looking for a Shamrock Shake. Anyone seen one lately?) I don’t deserve to be paid for a diluted version of this blog, that I value so much. (Which is lucky, because I don’t get paid to write this.) My blog has lacked passion for a while now because I’m stretched too thin with other things like watching American Idol, playing Nintendo Wii, and searching for free porn sites on the web.

You, the radio show, and the blogosphere deserve better from me. I hope that I come back in 4 days refreshed and reinvigorated. I’ve always thought that I could waste at least 6-7 minutes a week writing this blog, so I’m pretty sure I will be able to return with the zeal to devote even 9-10 minutes a week.

I’m not disappearing totally… Over the next 4 days you might see me pop up in a home movie or a postcard, because those things still mean something to me. I’m trying not to make this all syrupy, so I’ll try to wrap it up. The other day I was at Chuck E. Cheese with my son. He was feeding my dollars into the token machine. He ran off to play some games, and when he returned, he stopped and smiled at me, and said, “Can I have some more dollars?”

This is what I’m going to be doing for the next 4 days. I’m going to make sure I don’t miss out on any more moments like that. And I’m going to figure out a way to create more of them. (Next time, I’ll bring more dollars.) I guess this was every bit as corny as I feared. Sorry. Can I borrow a dollar?

Anyway, I have been working moderately hard for too long now, because what I do doesn’t feel like work. (And why should it? It’s easy.) But it is a time for me to make the journey from happy to happier. And time for me to figure out a way to use this forum, by beloved blog, as a way to start helping others instead of just entertaining 1 or 2 people out of the total of 4 that read it. So this is good-bye for now.

I think and hope that I’m going to be different, and better, and fatter, when I return in 4 days.

58 comments May 12th, 2008

2 Weeks from Jai Alai Party… By Hoch

We’re just two short weeks away from our listener party at Dania Jai Alai, and I couldn’t be more excited about it. In fact, Dan and I went to jai-alai again last night just to check it out one more time. I’m expecting all Hochamaniacs to be there… And I’m expecting you to bring friends too! Again, the event is Wednesday, May 21 at Dania Jai-Alai. The games start at 7pm that night and will go until around 11:30pm.

Game 7 will officially be called “The Dan LeBatard Show Suey Spectacular.” It will read that way in the program and on the scoreboard. And after the 7th game, Dan and Stugotz will take to the jai-alai court and will each attempt to throw the pelota out of the cesta. (We have been assured neither of them will be able to do it.)

If you’ve never been to Dania Jai-Alai before, allow me to set the scene for you so you’re not completely shocked when you walk in. I maintain that the entrance to Dania Jai Alai is probably more depressing than the reception area at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. That’s just the way it is. I wish the entrance could be a little more upbeat, but it’s not, so you’ll have to deal with it. It’s poorly lit… No one is smiling… It smells like 1974… And there’s no one to tell you where to go.

As a 790 The Ticket listener though, you’ll be greeted that night with a free program! Take your program and head into the main area (if you can find it.) That’s where we’re gonna hang out that night… in the seats in front of the court. Just get out of the main entrance area, and it’ll get slightly more uplifting when you see the jai-alai court.

At jai-alai, you bet on the games just like you would a horse race. Win, place, show, quinellas, trifectas, etc. And the other great part that night is the fact that hot dogs and beers are just one dollar! That’s right. Do the math: If you buy 3 beers and 2 hot dogs, it will cost you 5 dollars. If you buy 6 hot dogs and 9 beers, it will cost you 15 dollars. This is going to be a great night, so make sure you’re there.

If you want more information about jai-alai go to www.betdania.com. We’re planning some fun stuff for the night… We’ve invited jai-alai legend Joey to come, although we haven’t received a response yet. And we’re also going to invite South Florida radio legend and jai-alai fan Ed Kaplan to join us too! May 21 at Dania Jai-Alai… The Suey Spectacular!

40 comments May 8th, 2008

Fast Food… By Hoch

We were discussing fast food on the air the other day because Arby’s just announced that they’re buying out Wendy’s. Fast food is always one of those topics that you can’t get anyone to agree on. My wife is a HUGE Burger King fan, and I think Burger King stinks. I haven’t liked Burger King since I was a kid, and I don’t like it now. But my wife grew up loving Burger King, so I guess she still has good memories of the place.

To me, there’s no better fast food than Wendy’s. The Wendy’s cheeseburgers are unparalleled in fast food as far as I’m concerned. (Steak and Shake has awesome burgers too… but I don’t know if Steak and Shake is considered fast food, since you actually get waited on.) Fat Burger and In and Out Burger are another couple places with good burgers… but they don’t have them here so you can really only get them if you’re traveling.

As far as McDonald’s… I’m cool with it. Great fries. Tasty burgers. I’ve never been to Checkers, so I can’t comment on them. I haven’t been to Arby’s in years, but I’m really not a roast beef fan, so I’m not sure how much success I’d have in an Arby’s. (Although I do remember them having potato cakes. Do they still have those?)

One of my secret pleasures that I’m always embarrassed to admit is that I love Taco Bell. I don’t lie to my wife about anything… except Taco Bell. She thinks it’s so gross that I never tell her when I eat there. She’ll ask what I had for lunch, and I’ll just tell her Subway or Quiznos or something like that. But the truth is I LOVE Taco Bell. Don’t know why. But man, those burritos and tacos are amazing! Grilled Stuft Burrito! Oh yeah!

Some fast food things come and go… I always wonder what happened to some of the less successful rollouts from the fast food places. Remember the Arch Deluxe? The McDLT? The Shamrock Shake? Do any of those still exist anywhere?

I’m not a big fast food chicken guy… Not crazy about KFC or Popeye’s. When I was growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, there was a fast food chicken place called Brown’s Chicken… That was always pretty good. You don’t see those around anymore I don’t think.

Anyone remember the McDonald’s beefsteak sandwich? Also, Quizno’s has jumped the shark.

57 comments April 28th, 2008

I’ve Got Jai Alai Fever… By Hoch

I’ve been talking on the air about jai alai lately. We even had Joey- a jai alai legend- on the air for an interview. (He was great.) And, as you read about in my last blog, I’d like to put together a field trip for our listeners to jai alai one night. I’ve always had good times at jai alai, so I figured a night out with listeners at jai alai is a sure fire good time.

So rather than just rush into a field trip, I decided it would be important to do a “site check” and meet with Dania Jai Alai and see if it was possible to actually pull it off. Well Wednesday night I went to Dania Jai Alai… and I didn’t just go alone; I brought a bunch of people from the station with me: Dan, his girlfriend, Stugotz, Mike Ryan, Cyn City, Kenny the Intern, Roy, and Fake Howard. We all went to Dania Jai Alai Wednesday night… and it was AWESOME!

Yes, I’ll admit walking into Dania Jai Alai is a bit like going back in time. The place (except for the new poker room and bar) hasn’t been updated since the 70’s. I hadn’t been there in a while, but I expected to valet park like I always used to. I pulled into the valet circle… and found that there is no valet parking anymore. In fact the old entrance isn’t even used anymore. But once I got into the fronton (stadium) it all came back to me!

What made it really exciting was that a lot of people that went with us had never been to jai alai before. Mike Ryan, Kenny, Roy, Cyn City, even Stugotz… they had NEVER seen the sport. It’s like taking your child to Disney World for the first time… When you see the looks on their faces, it’s priceless. We had a great time at Dania Jai Alai, and now I’m more certain than ever that I want to have a listener party out there.

Jai Alai… Wagering… Poker… Beer… Hot dogs… It’s all coming together. I’m going to have this thing planned in the next couple of weeks. I want The Dan LeBatard Show to be responsible for a resurgence in jai alai. I want to see thousands of people at the fronton just like there used to be in the 70’s. I want to put jai alai back on the map… and with your help, we’re gonna do it!

The jai alai field trip is coming! Please let me know on this blog if you’ll join us on a Friday night at Dania Jai Alai!

36 comments April 24th, 2008